


Handmade By Hudders

by PatPrecieux



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Christmas Fluff, M/M, Ugly Christmas Apparel Challenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 02:42:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,439
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21686215
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PatPrecieux/pseuds/PatPrecieux
Summary: Another Christmas party, another row over what to wear.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 24
Kudos: 42
Collections: Ugly Christmas Apparel Challenge





	Handmade By Hudders

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChrisCalledMeSweetie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChrisCalledMeSweetie/gifts), [notjustmom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notjustmom/gifts), [scrub456](https://archiveofourown.org/users/scrub456/gifts).



> Martha Hudson does her best to knit her boys into a good holiday mood.

"I am sooo done with having this same damn row with you every Christmas, Sherlock."

"If you would stop being ridiculous every Christmas we wouldn't have cause to row."

"It is NOT ridiculous you tosser to agree one day a year to get in the holiday spirit like everyone else."

"Has it escaped your attention that I am not everyone else? How very dull."

John clenched his fists and took several deep breaths before sighing loudly and calming his voice. "Sweetheart, it's not as if I'm asking you to do the impossible. It's one Christmas party at the Yard."

"Yes, yes. One party where, as usual, we all are to make merry and don the disgusting abominations that pass for "Our Gay Apparel".

An ear to ear grin split John's face. "Well we've got the gay bit down to a science."

"John please! Don't equate our sex life to science unless you want me to start experimenting on you again and not in a good way."

"No,no...look I have what I think is a perfectly reasonable compromise worked out for us. Hear me out, love. I was telling Martha..."

Sherlock looked scandalized. "You discussed our sex life with Hudders?!"

"What?! No!! Why would you think, nevermind you menace. We talked about what you could wear to the party and she volunteered to knit something for both of us."

"Oh charming. You've activated our housekeeper..."

"Not our housekeeper."

"At any rate you've activated her to Defcon 1 and England IS going to fall."

"Don't be so dramatic. She knows you don't much care for these parties and YOU know she loves you too much to embarrass you. So when she comes up here..."

"Woo-hoo! Boys are you decent? Well not decent you're never decent but..."

"Come in Hudders", John laughed turning to Sherlock with a stern whispered, "behave".

🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁🎁

Before long Martha had her handmade creations wrapped in tissue paper spread out on the coffee table. "John dear you open yours first, and keep in mind I AM aware you do like the occasional nip. And before you give me any snappy retort young man, leave my soothers out of this." Her strict admonishment was betrayed by the twinkle in her eyes.

John unwrapped the parcel to find a jumper that was of professional quality as any sold at Burberry or Marks and Spencer. The main body was black with red neckline and hem and red and white striped long sleeves. In the center was a green Christmas tree festooned with large old fashioned colored bulbs. The tree was topped with a gleaming gold star and above that in bold letters was "GET LIT."

John snorted, "It's fantastic! A work of art."

"Fantastic is MY word."

"Sherlock I can call someone or something else besides you fantastic or amazing. You don't own the patent on the words."

"Boys, boys! None of that now, it's the holidays. I'm so glad you like it John. I know how partial Sherlock is to your black and white striped one but that's hardly festive so candy stripes it is, and look here push this tiny button and Ta Da."

The lights on the sweater glowed and began flashing on and off in bright colors. 

"Now I really can get lit and no hangover. Thank you!"

"Don't mention it dear. Sherlock this one's for you. I do hope it suits, and no I'm not so dotty as I'd try getting the great Detective Holmes into another jumper."

Handling the bundle in his lap as if it was highly explosive or caustic, Sherlock tore a small corner in the paper and peered inside. Seeing only black yarn he reluctantly pulled it out. It was a long wide black scarf just like he favored but decorated with strings of more old fashioned Christmas bulbs on green cords.

"I used one of your blue ones to get the size right and the bulbs match those on John's jumper and these light up as well." The hopeful look on her face nearly broke John's heart because he was afraid...

"While I appreciate your interest Hudders I cannot be seen wearing anything this kitschy."

This time John did lose his temper. "Sherlock how can you be so ungrateful and how the bloody hell do you know the word kitschy?"

"I know things, John, and I'm not ungrateful. I simply cannot abide poor taste."

"William Sherlock Scott Holmes!!"

Martha stepped between them. "Don't upset yourself John dear. Since we anticipated that perhaps this would be his reaction I do have that alternative option for him. Here you are Sherlock. You can wear this in the spirit of the season and no one will see it but you."

The item was retrieved from Hudders' knitting bag and placed in his hand.

Sherlock's face turned blood red. "That's a... you knitted a...I'm holding a..."

"Yes Sherlock dear it's a Willy Warmer. See the round part at the bottom looks like a Christmas package tied with a bow and the long top part matches the tree on John's jumper. Sorry these lights don't light up though. Risky business having electricity...there. Now you put your round bits in the..."

"Hudders!! Kindly shut up this instant. I know what bits go where but damn woman! How could you? I mean how do you know that it would even fit my..."

"No troubles there dear, I asked John to provide me with the measurements."

Sherlock whirled to face John. "You didn't?!"

"I did. Figured all those times you whipped out the tape measure on us shouldn't be wasted effort. Handy information to have for times like this."

"Now Sherlock", she cooed, "what's it to be? Scarf for all to see and enjoy or my other special little package? When I say little..."

"Oh dear God make it stop."

"It's a simple choice really Lock. You wear the scarf and show off Martha's talent or I accidentally let everyone know that you ARE wearing Christmas cheer but it's hidden under your clothes."

"I'll wear the scarf, and to spite you John I'll wear the other as well and you can just squirm knowing what's in my pants."

"Already know what's in your pants and now so does Hudders. But I think I prefer you wear that one at home just for me. Besides if you do wear it at the Yard I just might have to tease you to the point where I'll need to tell everyone you broke into Sandringham and stole one of her Majesty's trees to shove down your trousers. So please thank Martha for the thoughtful gifts."

"Oh ta I'm sure Hudders for making Christmas yet even more painful for me."

"That's enough lip from you Sherlock Holmes or I WILL have a talk with your mother. Besides, make it an adventure. Perhaps you can fashion a way to use the lights on the scarf to give a shock to Anderson or Donovan if they bother you."

"Martha don't help me by giving this madman any ideas. 'Yarders electrocuted by World's Only Consulting Detective at annual Christmas party.' I already have enough trouble handling him as is."

"You do NOT handle me John Watson!"

"Not yet, but I will as soon as Hudders goes back downstairs."

"On that note dears I'll go back to my flat. Going to try my hand at baking some Christmas cookies shaped like candles with two ornaments at the bottom. If you put them just right on the plate they look like..."

"Hudders!", John and Sherlock shouted in chorus.

"Well yes, you get the idea boys. See you later, have fun with your St. Nicholas Day treats."

When they heard the door of 221A close firmly Sherlock moaned, "I can't believe she did that. I can't believe YOU did that."

"Needs must when I know full good and well that you will turn your nose up at gifts that most people would love."

"Well, I suppose the scarf isn't too crass and I can accessorize it with my best black silk suit and that scarlet shirt you fancy so."

"Sounds stunning my diva but for right now I want you in the bedroom. I think I fancy stuffing you in your stocking stuffer and seeing if I can light YOU up."

In her kitchen Martha Hudson, landlady, housekeeper, knitter and baker smiled as the sounds of her Boys getting Lit Up filtered down the stairs. Placing another tray of candle cock cookies into her oven, she danced into her sitting room and poured herself a large whiskey. "Happy Holidays to me! This calls for a soother."

🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄

**Author's Note:**

> Happy St. Nicholas day tomorrow. Hope each of you get your stocking stuffed like Sherlock, and get lit like John. 🎅🏼🎄🎁
> 
> May you all have a bit of magic this holiday season. Please help Santa grant my Christmas wish with kudos and comments. That makes me holly and jolly.  
> ❤️❤️❤️❤️ Pat


End file.
